A leader is best when people barely know he exists, Not so good when people obey and acclaim him. Worse when they despise him. Fail to honor people, they fail to honor you. But of a good leaders, who talks little when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, the people will say, “We did this ourselves.”
Lao-Tzu
In celebration of turning 26 this month, I wanted to share with you the valuable lessons in leadership I have learned through my own personal life journey. I hope that these lessons can help in forming strong bonds with the people you interact with and give your life a new sense of purpose when it comes to leading others. With great power, comes great responsibility… Be Your Own Hero
True Leaders….
1. Are Always Humble- Great leaders never boast about successes or other external accomplishments. They understand that success is fleeting and that everyone possesses the same capability. Enjoy your achievements; however, understand that they do not define who you are. Effective leaders never view themselves as superior over the people they are helping to bring to light. Be thankful for everyone that you come in contact with and every experience that is presented to you.
2. Question Authority- It is important to be able to take in information and develop your own perspective. You must be able to move outside of social conditioning and trust your own inner knowledge in making decisions. Great Leaders always make a decision that feels right to them despite criticism and scorn from others. Respect the advice you obtain from everyone, however, come to your own conclusion on what is true in your life.
3. Fear Nothing In This World- True leaders understand that there is nothing to fear in the world. Everything that comes into form fades away. Always be willing to face insecurities and fears to unlock your full potential. Take little steps each day to branch out of stagnation and routine. You can become whatever you want to be, don’t let fears and insecurities created by the mind limit your potential.
4. Separate Themselves from Ego- Separate yourself from feelings of resentment, jealousy, anger, sadness, etc (feelings of the ego) and know that you are “more” than all of these passing emotions. When you are successfully able to do this the only emotions that remain are love, compassion, and generosity. You begin to understand that you are in charge of your own happiness and there is no external that will validate you. By grasping this concept you will unlock a new level of self awareness which will instantly improve leadership and all other qualities that are essential in life. By becoming conscious yourself, you are able to awaken others.
5. Do Not Try to Change Others Through Force- People are responsible and capable of making their own decisions during their personal journey. True leaders understand that they do not need to force their beliefs on others. If they are authentic and their cause noble, people will be attracted and supportive. Power always overcomes Force
6. Do Not Limit Themselves To Rigid Perspectives- It is important to understand that rigid perspectives limit growth. When you are constantly expending energy defending a position or rigid perspective, you are unable to see the broader picture and experience growth. You are more than any idea or perspective, be willing to overcome the fear of change. Life is a process of evolution and it is our responsibility to strengthen our own personal awareness as well as the awareness of people around us. Always be willing to make new connections in the world you are experiencing. The lens we perceive the world through is always changing and this constant evolutionary process will create new realities for you.
7. Challenge Social Conditioning and Societal Norms- Social Conditioning led by mass media and an inadequate educational system has caused our society to be full of unhappy human beings who are constantly striving for illusions. As a leader, you must be willing to step outside of the unconsciousness to find your own truths. It is your responsibility to deliver people to the light, to make them aware of the potential within. To evoke true change, we must be able to expand our thinking outside of ego and embody the true power found within the source energy that is present in all life forms. You have the answers, believe in yourself and overcome the false fear created around you.
8. Embody the Change They Wish to See- This concept was made famous by Mahatma Gandhi and rings true for any person who intends to help others. If you wish to see something change in this world, take the necessary steps to evoke that particular change in your personal life. This change will become contagious to others if it contains power and you will gradually create a new environment around you. Do not fall into the trap of becoming a false prophet, you will one day fall from grace and experience intense suffering as a result.
9. Encourage Others to Pursue Their Dreams- True leaders ALWAYS encourage others to pursue their dreams and create better realities for themselves. There should never be feelings of resentment or jealousy towards others due to external accomplishments. We are all in this thing together and it is important to encourage one another to follow the power within to overcome fear. This world is full of great abundance and opportunity for those that believe in this power.
10. Are Great Listeners- Listening is one of the most important things you can do in gaining trust and respect of people you come in contact with. There is no one in this world who is superior or inferior to you so be willing to listen intently. Do not interrupt and do not “one up” people you can come in contact with. Everyone on this planet has experienced something that you have not, so why incessantly talk over people that are presenting a gift to you? Place your full attention and awareness on the person speaking in the present moment. If they are addressing you, there is no one else in the room except you and that person. Open up your personal space and invite others in. You will be amazed at the love you can express and feel within others.
11. Are Authentic, They Do Not Role Play- Authenticity is the single most important thing to teach your children growing up. True Leaders are not defined by externals and therefore, do not create an external identity. Go to a bar, ride an elevator, or sit in a corporate office if you want to experience role playing. Role playing is often defined by ingeniune conversations usually about “nothing” where people play roles due to fear or the perceived notion that they are superior or inferior to someone else. Have you ever noticed how people’s personalities change when someone who they view as superior/inferior comes into contact with them? This is all a false egoic perception by the human mind that can be overcome by disidentifying with external roles. Be genuine with people and understand that you are perfect in this very moment! Nothing external will ever complete you. If you are unable to grasp this concept than you will continue to suffer as as you pile 12. Deflect Recognition and Praise to Others Whenever Possible- When you become a true leader, you will find that you are both praised and criticized for your actions. Do not identify with these perceptions and be sure to bring attention to those around you. When you no longer define yourself by externals, you will no longer define yourself by how others “perceive” you, you will no longer seek praise. By being absent of ego, you will make others feel their own inner potential and they will be inspired to do great things in this world. They will use your inner power and energy to unlock their own potential.
13. Understand That They Can Manifest Their Visions Into Reality- A vision begins with a thought and through consistency, perseverance, and belief that vision manifests into reality. All true leaders understand the impact of their thoughts and attitudes in creating their external realities. If you have experienced a few ”negative” situations lately, step outside of your mind and observe the thinker. Are you identifying with the suffering you experienced? The minute we begin to identify with a negative event we invite more negativity into our lives. It is a vicious cycle that can be avoided if you are able to observe your thought patterns and remove unconscious thinking. Practice this on a daily basis and see if you can consciously improve your external realities through presence and awareness.
14. Understand The Mirroring Effect (Like Attracts Like) (Creation of Inner Circle) – True leaders understand that people they interact with often “mirror” their own internal dialogue and energy. If you are a positive person and give off a positive frequency of energy, other positive people who share a similar frequency will be attracted to you (Like Attracts Like). You begin to grasp that you are accountable for the type of people that come into your life. If you are not satisfied with an intimate relationship and the partners you are attracting, make a change internally. You will be amazed at what you can attract by being aware of your own internal environment. As you begin to attract more and more people that embody a positive energy, develop an inner circle that can aid you in networking, personal relationships, and creating a better life for yourself. Embody the law of attraction
15. Understand That Positive Energy is Contagious- By emanating positive energy you will find that you can change energy frequencies of others. People caught up in negative thought patterns can be briefly freed from their suffering by coming into contact with someone that embodies a higher frequency. Carefully examine the energy you are giving off to others and make changes if you sense negativity. This concept alone can improve our communities one interaction at a time. What is there to fear and feel bad about? We are not always in control of events in our life; however, we are in control of who we react! Make the conscious choice to emanate positive energy to others.
16. Understand The Importance of the Present Moment- So often we place our awareness on future or past events that we miss the present moment. This is a very disheartening truth that has consumed our culture and something that you must understand to free yourself. The only thing that we are guaranteed is NOW so take full advantage of the present. You will find an enhanced quality to your work and relationships that had been missing when focusing on time. The concept of time is a mind made fiction that often robs us of our ability to truly live. Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and discover new truths in this concept.
17. Do Not Put Themselves Above Others- All living things that come into form will fade away. We all share the same destiny and inner potential so there is no need to create illusions of superiority over others. Everyone on this planet is on their own life journey where they are trying to make sense of their existence. People will experience different levels of consciousness so show intense compassion for their struggle. When you understand this, people will feel the love, generosity, and compassion that emanates from within. This will help unlock them to see greater truths in their own life.
18. Understand the Art of Defenselessness- When we constantly react to things, it reveals a weakness within. For a long time I always thought that reacting with anger and force was the “manly” way of handling things. True power is being able to be non reactive to unconsciousness. When someone wrongs you, do not take it personally and let the person know without any judgment or criticism. You will embody true power and will help others awaken in the process. If you are in immediate danger, take the necessary steps to prevent bodily harm to yourself and people around you.
19. Can Slow Their Mind Down When Needed- It took me awhile to realize this, however, I came to the conclusion that I identified so strongly with sports and training because it slowed my mind down. I could lose my incessant thought patterns for a few seconds during intense training or competition which allowed me to enjoy the present moment. Some people become addicted to drugs or pursue extreme sports for a similar effect… my drug was football and lifting weights. By understanding this concept you begin to understand that you can achieve this state of presence through meditation and other mental practices that bring a better quality to your life. You can enjoy the present and truly live!
20. Never Judge or Criticize Others- When we judge or criticize others, we are just pointing to a weakness within. I have found in my personal life that my mind becomes distracted when judging someone and I am unable to focus on the present. This limitation found in judgment also occurs when I see something that I fear within. Free yourself of this mind pattern and see how your life improves.
See The Potential In Others And Help Them Unlock It- Always focus your attention on the positive qualities of others and you will find that people react by displaying the quality you put your awareness on. If you focus on negative qualities in people, you will bring out negative within them. If you focus on positive qualities, you will bring out the positive within them. See the potential in others and put your awareness on helping them unlock it.
22. Expect Nothing In Return For Their Generosity And Aid- You should never expect something in return for your generosity towards others. If you become caught up in keeping count of favors you will come across as ingeniune and people will not trust you. Give as much as you can and if someone is willing to give you something back, be open to receive it.
23. Are Consistent - If you want to bring a vision to reality you must be consistent in your efforts and beliefs. I find it very important to establish periodic routines to help in accomplishing certain goals. As visions become realities, feel free to set up new routines that are in line with your current goals. Do not be afraid of change and enjoy what you have created. Be consistent in your time commitment to others and embody the things you preach every day!
24. Accept Accountability- True leaders accept accountability for all of their actions since it is through accountability that they can learn from all of their adversities and failures. Nothing is truly a failure in this world if one continues to gain a greater awareness of their internal and external environment. Take full accountability for every aspect of your life and witness the freeing power it has on your being. You have the power to manifest your own realities! Free yourself from suffering.
25. Are Trustworthy- True leaders evoke a natural trust in everyone around them. People feel the power, energy, and freedom within leaders which causes them to become attracted to their cause. Through understanding this concept, true leaders never need to seek a following.
o Not Seek Completion Through Externals- It is a truth that you come into this world with nothing and you live this world with nothing. There is no need to identify with externals since you are complete in the present moment. This concept is something that I have to make myself aware of daily when writing this blog. The minute you become completely identified with an external role you will experience intense suffering. Understand the illusions that are presented to you daily through mass media, marketing, and advertising. It is okay to set goals for yourself and buy things you like, however, do not form your identity around these things.
I hope this list helps you on your own particular journey. Please feel free to add comments on what you believe defines a good leader! Be Your Own Hero.
Lao-Tzu
In celebration of turning 26 this month, I wanted to share with you the valuable lessons in leadership I have learned through my own personal life journey. I hope that these lessons can help in forming strong bonds with the people you interact with and give your life a new sense of purpose when it comes to leading others. With great power, comes great responsibility… Be Your Own Hero
True Leaders….
1. Are Always Humble- Great leaders never boast about successes or other external accomplishments. They understand that success is fleeting and that everyone possesses the same capability. Enjoy your achievements; however, understand that they do not define who you are. Effective leaders never view themselves as superior over the people they are helping to bring to light. Be thankful for everyone that you come in contact with and every experience that is presented to you.
2. Question Authority- It is important to be able to take in information and develop your own perspective. You must be able to move outside of social conditioning and trust your own inner knowledge in making decisions. Great Leaders always make a decision that feels right to them despite criticism and scorn from others. Respect the advice you obtain from everyone, however, come to your own conclusion on what is true in your life.
3. Fear Nothing In This World- True leaders understand that there is nothing to fear in the world. Everything that comes into form fades away. Always be willing to face insecurities and fears to unlock your full potential. Take little steps each day to branch out of stagnation and routine. You can become whatever you want to be, don’t let fears and insecurities created by the mind limit your potential.
4. Separate Themselves from Ego- Separate yourself from feelings of resentment, jealousy, anger, sadness, etc (feelings of the ego) and know that you are “more” than all of these passing emotions. When you are successfully able to do this the only emotions that remain are love, compassion, and generosity. You begin to understand that you are in charge of your own happiness and there is no external that will validate you. By grasping this concept you will unlock a new level of self awareness which will instantly improve leadership and all other qualities that are essential in life. By becoming conscious yourself, you are able to awaken others.
5. Do Not Try to Change Others Through Force- People are responsible and capable of making their own decisions during their personal journey. True leaders understand that they do not need to force their beliefs on others. If they are authentic and their cause noble, people will be attracted and supportive. Power always overcomes Force
6. Do Not Limit Themselves To Rigid Perspectives- It is important to understand that rigid perspectives limit growth. When you are constantly expending energy defending a position or rigid perspective, you are unable to see the broader picture and experience growth. You are more than any idea or perspective, be willing to overcome the fear of change. Life is a process of evolution and it is our responsibility to strengthen our own personal awareness as well as the awareness of people around us. Always be willing to make new connections in the world you are experiencing. The lens we perceive the world through is always changing and this constant evolutionary process will create new realities for you.
7. Challenge Social Conditioning and Societal Norms- Social Conditioning led by mass media and an inadequate educational system has caused our society to be full of unhappy human beings who are constantly striving for illusions. As a leader, you must be willing to step outside of the unconsciousness to find your own truths. It is your responsibility to deliver people to the light, to make them aware of the potential within. To evoke true change, we must be able to expand our thinking outside of ego and embody the true power found within the source energy that is present in all life forms. You have the answers, believe in yourself and overcome the false fear created around you.
8. Embody the Change They Wish to See- This concept was made famous by Mahatma Gandhi and rings true for any person who intends to help others. If you wish to see something change in this world, take the necessary steps to evoke that particular change in your personal life. This change will become contagious to others if it contains power and you will gradually create a new environment around you. Do not fall into the trap of becoming a false prophet, you will one day fall from grace and experience intense suffering as a result.
9. Encourage Others to Pursue Their Dreams- True leaders ALWAYS encourage others to pursue their dreams and create better realities for themselves. There should never be feelings of resentment or jealousy towards others due to external accomplishments. We are all in this thing together and it is important to encourage one another to follow the power within to overcome fear. This world is full of great abundance and opportunity for those that believe in this power.
10. Are Great Listeners- Listening is one of the most important things you can do in gaining trust and respect of people you come in contact with. There is no one in this world who is superior or inferior to you so be willing to listen intently. Do not interrupt and do not “one up” people you can come in contact with. Everyone on this planet has experienced something that you have not, so why incessantly talk over people that are presenting a gift to you? Place your full attention and awareness on the person speaking in the present moment. If they are addressing you, there is no one else in the room except you and that person. Open up your personal space and invite others in. You will be amazed at the love you can express and feel within others.
11. Are Authentic, They Do Not Role Play- Authenticity is the single most important thing to teach your children growing up. True Leaders are not defined by externals and therefore, do not create an external identity. Go to a bar, ride an elevator, or sit in a corporate office if you want to experience role playing. Role playing is often defined by ingeniune conversations usually about “nothing” where people play roles due to fear or the perceived notion that they are superior or inferior to someone else. Have you ever noticed how people’s personalities change when someone who they view as superior/inferior comes into contact with them? This is all a false egoic perception by the human mind that can be overcome by disidentifying with external roles. Be genuine with people and understand that you are perfect in this very moment! Nothing external will ever complete you. If you are unable to grasp this concept than you will continue to suffer as as you pile 12. Deflect Recognition and Praise to Others Whenever Possible- When you become a true leader, you will find that you are both praised and criticized for your actions. Do not identify with these perceptions and be sure to bring attention to those around you. When you no longer define yourself by externals, you will no longer define yourself by how others “perceive” you, you will no longer seek praise. By being absent of ego, you will make others feel their own inner potential and they will be inspired to do great things in this world. They will use your inner power and energy to unlock their own potential.
13. Understand That They Can Manifest Their Visions Into Reality- A vision begins with a thought and through consistency, perseverance, and belief that vision manifests into reality. All true leaders understand the impact of their thoughts and attitudes in creating their external realities. If you have experienced a few ”negative” situations lately, step outside of your mind and observe the thinker. Are you identifying with the suffering you experienced? The minute we begin to identify with a negative event we invite more negativity into our lives. It is a vicious cycle that can be avoided if you are able to observe your thought patterns and remove unconscious thinking. Practice this on a daily basis and see if you can consciously improve your external realities through presence and awareness.
14. Understand The Mirroring Effect (Like Attracts Like) (Creation of Inner Circle) – True leaders understand that people they interact with often “mirror” their own internal dialogue and energy. If you are a positive person and give off a positive frequency of energy, other positive people who share a similar frequency will be attracted to you (Like Attracts Like). You begin to grasp that you are accountable for the type of people that come into your life. If you are not satisfied with an intimate relationship and the partners you are attracting, make a change internally. You will be amazed at what you can attract by being aware of your own internal environment. As you begin to attract more and more people that embody a positive energy, develop an inner circle that can aid you in networking, personal relationships, and creating a better life for yourself. Embody the law of attraction
15. Understand That Positive Energy is Contagious- By emanating positive energy you will find that you can change energy frequencies of others. People caught up in negative thought patterns can be briefly freed from their suffering by coming into contact with someone that embodies a higher frequency. Carefully examine the energy you are giving off to others and make changes if you sense negativity. This concept alone can improve our communities one interaction at a time. What is there to fear and feel bad about? We are not always in control of events in our life; however, we are in control of who we react! Make the conscious choice to emanate positive energy to others.
16. Understand The Importance of the Present Moment- So often we place our awareness on future or past events that we miss the present moment. This is a very disheartening truth that has consumed our culture and something that you must understand to free yourself. The only thing that we are guaranteed is NOW so take full advantage of the present. You will find an enhanced quality to your work and relationships that had been missing when focusing on time. The concept of time is a mind made fiction that often robs us of our ability to truly live. Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and discover new truths in this concept.
17. Do Not Put Themselves Above Others- All living things that come into form will fade away. We all share the same destiny and inner potential so there is no need to create illusions of superiority over others. Everyone on this planet is on their own life journey where they are trying to make sense of their existence. People will experience different levels of consciousness so show intense compassion for their struggle. When you understand this, people will feel the love, generosity, and compassion that emanates from within. This will help unlock them to see greater truths in their own life.
18. Understand the Art of Defenselessness- When we constantly react to things, it reveals a weakness within. For a long time I always thought that reacting with anger and force was the “manly” way of handling things. True power is being able to be non reactive to unconsciousness. When someone wrongs you, do not take it personally and let the person know without any judgment or criticism. You will embody true power and will help others awaken in the process. If you are in immediate danger, take the necessary steps to prevent bodily harm to yourself and people around you.
19. Can Slow Their Mind Down When Needed- It took me awhile to realize this, however, I came to the conclusion that I identified so strongly with sports and training because it slowed my mind down. I could lose my incessant thought patterns for a few seconds during intense training or competition which allowed me to enjoy the present moment. Some people become addicted to drugs or pursue extreme sports for a similar effect… my drug was football and lifting weights. By understanding this concept you begin to understand that you can achieve this state of presence through meditation and other mental practices that bring a better quality to your life. You can enjoy the present and truly live!
20. Never Judge or Criticize Others- When we judge or criticize others, we are just pointing to a weakness within. I have found in my personal life that my mind becomes distracted when judging someone and I am unable to focus on the present. This limitation found in judgment also occurs when I see something that I fear within. Free yourself of this mind pattern and see how your life improves.
See The Potential In Others And Help Them Unlock It- Always focus your attention on the positive qualities of others and you will find that people react by displaying the quality you put your awareness on. If you focus on negative qualities in people, you will bring out negative within them. If you focus on positive qualities, you will bring out the positive within them. See the potential in others and put your awareness on helping them unlock it.
22. Expect Nothing In Return For Their Generosity And Aid- You should never expect something in return for your generosity towards others. If you become caught up in keeping count of favors you will come across as ingeniune and people will not trust you. Give as much as you can and if someone is willing to give you something back, be open to receive it.
23. Are Consistent - If you want to bring a vision to reality you must be consistent in your efforts and beliefs. I find it very important to establish periodic routines to help in accomplishing certain goals. As visions become realities, feel free to set up new routines that are in line with your current goals. Do not be afraid of change and enjoy what you have created. Be consistent in your time commitment to others and embody the things you preach every day!
24. Accept Accountability- True leaders accept accountability for all of their actions since it is through accountability that they can learn from all of their adversities and failures. Nothing is truly a failure in this world if one continues to gain a greater awareness of their internal and external environment. Take full accountability for every aspect of your life and witness the freeing power it has on your being. You have the power to manifest your own realities! Free yourself from suffering.
25. Are Trustworthy- True leaders evoke a natural trust in everyone around them. People feel the power, energy, and freedom within leaders which causes them to become attracted to their cause. Through understanding this concept, true leaders never need to seek a following.
o Not Seek Completion Through Externals- It is a truth that you come into this world with nothing and you live this world with nothing. There is no need to identify with externals since you are complete in the present moment. This concept is something that I have to make myself aware of daily when writing this blog. The minute you become completely identified with an external role you will experience intense suffering. Understand the illusions that are presented to you daily through mass media, marketing, and advertising. It is okay to set goals for yourself and buy things you like, however, do not form your identity around these things.
I hope this list helps you on your own particular journey. Please feel free to add comments on what you believe defines a good leader! Be Your Own Hero.
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